eltham player profile

Name:Will(I.Am) Bisley
Nickname:Splinters
Batting:L/H Opener
Bowling:R/H Medium

Will Bisley has more nicknames than the rest of the Eltham squad combined, due possibly to a propensity to make an arse of himself at innopportune moments, but more likely due to the fact that he is a hugely popular member of the team.

"Sicknote" was conspicuous by his absence in 2010 and 2011, following a serious injury suffered while opening a peanut butter jar, but everyone is hoping he can get back to fitness and form in 2012. This includes the club Treasurer, who is particularly pleased that Will is touring this year, since his fine money alone could be enough to pay for a loft conversion for a few of the Committee.

When not injured, Will is Eltham's fittest player (why is it always the fit people who get injured?), and it is believed that his recent inability to hit boundaries is in fact merely a ploy to run more.

While discussing Will we also have to mention his better half, Carol, who vies with Andy Redman for the job of club scorer.

Will(I.Am)'s Eltham all-time stats:

Inns NO Runs HS Ave Overs Maidens Runs Wickets Ave Catches Stumpings
686161889*26.10114136182722.89220

Note: These stats cover the period 2006-2017.